In My Head

I’m tired of feeling this way.  I feel like everyone around me is so happy, while I’m here lonely and sad.  No one would ever believe that I feel this way, though since I act so dang happy all the time.  No one actually knows how much I’m hurting every single day.  I keep telling myself “things will get better. You just have to be patient.”  Well, I’m starting to lose my patience.  I just don’t know what to do, or if there is anything that I can even do.  I ask everyday, why?  Why don’t I deserve to be happy?  I’ve been the absolute perfect child, student, etc. my whole life.  All I’m asking is for even a tiny bit of happiness.  I know this sounds super dramatic, but it’s truly how I feel.  I’ve felt this way for years.  I’m just really tired of seeing all my friends and even the people that I don’t like get everything and everyone they want.  I just don’t understand what is so horribly wrong with me that I can’t get these things.  Believe me, I try soo hard to be happy for people who get the things that they want and are happy, but I can’t help feeling jealous and a little resentful.  I hate this so much.  I pray everyday for things to change, and I will continue to do that and hope that everything will get better and I can actually be really happy and feel good about myself for once in my life.  Well, I guess that was my depressing rant of the day.  If you actually read this whole thing, I’m sorry I just wasted a few minutes of your life.  :)

Just got Get Your Heart On! in the mail! Love it! I know what I’m gonna be doing for the next week! :)